Boys Reading Texts From the Cell Phone Gayboystube

• Domicile
• My Books

Open Preview

See a Trouble?

We'd honey your help. Permit us know what'south wrong with this preview of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry.

Thanks for telling united states of america almost the problem.

Friend Reviews

To encounter what your friends idea of this volume, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

Be the first to ask a question most The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read

Community Reviews

 · 11,184 ratings  · 1,147 reviews

Start your review of The Volume You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

I really hated this book. I tin can't relate at all to the author'south assumptions that everything you find difficult about looking after a child (even a baby) goes back to the way you yourself were neglected equally a child. Honestly, babies are simply a LOT of work, and it's completely reasonable to get fed up, even if you had a perfect upbringing! So that background irritation made it a lot harder to sift the text for possibly useful communication on how to handle those frustrations. There was some, of course, henc I really hated this book. I can't chronicle at all to the author'southward assumptions that everything y'all observe difficult near looking after a kid (even a baby) goes back to the manner you yourself were neglected as a kid. Honestly, babies are just a LOT of piece of work, and it's completely reasonable to get fed up, even if yous had a perfect upbringing! And so that background irritation made it a lot harder to sift the text for possibly useful advice on how to handle those frustrations. In that location was some, of course, hence the two stars; simply I didn't observe it virtually as helpful or readable as the classic How To Talk And so Your Kids Will Listen, which Perry references. (And which approach in any case doesn't work for i of my two. Just maxim.)

Farther irritations: the immense privilege in advice such equally: spend 24 hours to a weekend 1-on-one with your kid, either in a hotel or by shipping the rest of the family unit off to relatives. Wow. Not an option for everybody, is that? Also the examples of how to seek support when you lot have a infant: "Perchance your mum can pay a year'southward rent! Maybe your sister tin cook your meals!" Cue guffaws. Sure, maybe that'll work for a lucky few. Not a hugely helpful idea for virtually, though (and while we're on the discipline, what'south with passing the burden onto specifically the women of the extended family?).

And then there's the guilt-heavy attachment parenting philosophy. I lean towards AP myself, but yeesh. Perry insists that she doesn't want to estimate, yet she draws a direct line from parents using their phone in front of kids to the kids' possible drug addiction in later life. Yep, seriously. There are certainly plenty of reasons to limit your phone utilize, but that's a Bit Stiff.

...more

Jan 18, 2019 Paromjit rated it really liked it

Psychotherapist Phillipa Perry provides sound common sense advice for parents on how to improve their relationships with their children, much of which will be familiar to professionals that piece of work with children. It is easy to empathize, with highly accessible material and ideas on how to amend domicile life and make it a significantly happier environment. Perry puts a necessarily stiff emphasis on parents putting in the effort to understand themselves and the nature of how they themselves were rai Psychotherapist Phillipa Perry provides sound common sense advice for parents on how to meliorate their relationships with their children, much of which will be familiar to professionals that piece of work with children. It is easy to understand, with highly accessible material and ideas on how to meliorate home life and get in a significantly happier environment. Perry puts a necessarily stiff emphasis on parents putting in the effort to understand themselves and the nature of how they themselves were raised, which often plays a major influence on how they parent their own children. Key to everything is advice and pertinent communication is offered on how to handle problematic behaviours and patterns, the need to accept mistakes and supporting children in positive ways. Widening and shifting perspectives on situations and understanding a child'south point of view provide opportunities for meliorate parent and child relationships. This is a great volume for parents with plenty of useful advice on how to ameliorate family life. Many thanks to Penguin Britain for an ARC. ...more

Jan 23, 2020 Hilary rated it actually liked it  · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Those starting a family

Recommended to Hilary by: Found in the library

This is a lovely book for anyone starting a family unit. I skimmed some every bit my children are virtually adults and from what I've read I completely agree with Philipa. Give your children loads of patience, attention, exist there for them whenever they need yous and they should grow into happy independent individuals. In short, the more time, attention and care you requite them when they are small the less time you lot will have to spend sorting out problems when they are older. I agree with Philipa, I retrieve it's h This is a lovely book for anyone starting a family. I skimmed some equally my children are virtually adults and from what I've read I completely concur with Philipa. Requite your children loads of patience, attending, be there for them whenever they need you and they should grow into happy contained individuals. In brusk, the more than time, attention and intendance you give them when they are small the less time you will have to spend sorting out problems when they are older. I agree with Philipa, I think it's hugely of import for children to accept a parent around when they're small and have the option to get in your bed if they need it, it doesn't terminal for ever, I wish I could enjoy some of those times again. This book has some lovely, kind and sensible advice. Sadly though it might be one of those books you are more likely to read if you already have those views. I really promise this helps some people and their children. ...more

Jul 17, 2019 Laura rated it liked it

This was an interesting read insofar as it pushes the boundaries of how useful a parenting guide tin be without considering patriarchal ability. Unlike the vast majority of parenting guides, Philippa Perry'due south The Book Yous Wish Your Parents Had Read gives mostly sensible, empathetic advice for how to relate to people (most of the things she says could utilise to relationships with anybody, although are especially relevant to your own children because of how much time you lot spend with them and how much i This was an interesting read insofar equally it pushes the boundaries of how useful a parenting guide can be without considering patriarchal power. Unlike the vast bulk of parenting guides, Philippa Perry's The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read gives mostly sensible, empathetic advice for how to relate to people (most of the things she says could utilize to relationships with everyone, although are especially relevant to your own children because of how much fourth dimension you lot spend with them and how much influence you accept over them). Equally she is a psychotherapist, I was expecting the inevitable section on attachment theory, which as usual was a mixture of common sense and unnecessary rules (why does a kid have to grade close attachments to exactly one or two people? Is co-sleeping and peel-to-skin contact really necessary for bonding given decades of doing information technology differently? etc.) Only on the whole, Perry manages to be remarkably undogmatic given the genre she's writing in.

My problem was, then, that fifty-fifty though Perry is very careful to address her advice to 'parents' rather than 'mothers', she does ignore that fact that, inevitably, more mothers than fathers will read this book, and that the huge investment of time and emotional labour she suggests parents put into their children will, on average, be borne by women. I concord with Perry'southward view that children deserve this fourth dimension and attending, and I'one thousand conscious of the fact that children don't choose to be built-in and so choosing to have children is choosing to put in this delivery. Still, Perry'south parenting fashion seems to me to be only possible if both partners are doing an equal share of the piece of work, which is nonetheless very far from the norm in Britain today in heterosexual couples. Otherwise, I feel like her advice might leave the parent doing the bulk of the child care (usually but not ever the mother) feeling burnt out and mentally unwell. She doesn't seem to have much sympathy, for example, for what she calls 'altered sleep patterns' (!!) that result from night waking, and is pretty condemnatory of anyone who dares to steal some leisure time for themselves while spending time with their child. She seems to likewise forget almost parents who have more than one kid to deal with at once.

Children definitely deserve to be taken seriously, and I totally agree with how Perry talks about children's feelings and needs. However, this book should have recognised both that principal caregivers have needs likewise, and that, in the existent world, putting such a huge load solely on one person is leap to lead to struggles that will impact the child every bit well as the parent. While she obviously tin can't alter this situation, she could accept framed her advice differently.

...more than

I am non a parent and I got SO much out of this book. Philippa Perry is i of my favourite psychotherapy writers and bluntly I'd read a book well-nigh pigment drying if it had her name on the forepart encompass.

I feel like I empathize the children in my life - and myself when I was a child - better after reading this. On the whole, society doesn't encourage us to come across things from a child'southward point of view - we are quick to dismiss their feelings every bit "being empty-headed" then on. I will never exercise that once again after re

I am not a parent and I got SO much out of this book. Philippa Perry is one of my favourite psychotherapy writers and frankly I'd read a book virtually paint drying if it had her proper name on the front cover.

I feel like I understand the children in my life - and myself when I was a child - meliorate after reading this. On the whole, society doesn't encourage united states to see things from a child's point of view - we are quick to dismiss their feelings as "being silly" and so on. I volition never do that over again later on reading this volume! I also liked how Perry eschews the idea of expert and bad behaviour - preferring to phone call it "convenient" or "inconvenient", which is far less judgmental.

Even if yous are not a parent, if y'all are curious well-nigh how you lot were raised and would like to reverberate on your ain childhood, or mayhap feel you take a few issues unresolved, I'd recommend reading this.

...more

Has some sensible but non earth-shattering advice about listening to and validating feelings. Overall it advocates a very intensive parenting fashion that in my view nosotros tin't mayhap have evolved to need (it's telling that the author but had one child). It comes across every bit more stance than evidence-based psychology, steeped in a particular sub-culture, and some of the assertions border on the ridiculous. Has some sensible merely not globe-shattering communication about listening to and validating feelings. Overall it advocates a very intensive parenting style that in my view we can't possibly take evolved to need (information technology's telling that the author just had one child). Information technology comes across as more than opinion than bear witness-based psychology, steeped in a particular sub-civilisation, and some of the assertions border on the ridiculous. ...more

I'm not reading this equally a future parent, but solely for figuring out why I feel what I'chiliad feeling.

Being in my mid 20s sometimes made me realized that "I am not supposed to be treated this style" past my parents. It's a fact that I find it hard to have, since I have been seeing them as a perfect pair. I ever believed that I should've been grateful for all the supports they have provided, and the endless love I never have to wonder.

But this book fabricated me realized that autonomously from being parents, they

I'm not reading this as a hereafter parent, just solely for figuring out why I feel what I'1000 feeling.

Being in my mid 20s sometimes made me realized that "I am not supposed to be treated this style" by my parents. It's a fact that I discover information technology hard to accept, since I take been seeing them every bit a perfect pair. I always believed that I should've been grateful for all the supports they have provided, and the endless beloved I never have to wonder.

But this book made me realized that apart from beingness parents, they are also humans. Perry helped me to respond most of my questions, how parenting & inner child trauma made me do what I practice and made me feel what I feel. She helped me to validate my feelings, provided clarity, and gave me warmth I never knew I needed.

Yes, I wish my parents had read this book.

...more than

Fantastic. I'm going to listen to this every year. My stiff and personal belief is that relationships rule all. Parenting, pedagogy, being a good friend...and this bottles that idea and gave me all the reasons why the author think this besides, and the science to dorsum it upward. It'southward therapy heavy, it's probably going to make a lot of people mad or guilty, but I loved it. Fantastic. I'1000 going to listen to this every year. My stiff and personal belief is that relationships rule all. Parenting, education, being a good friend...and this bottles that idea and gave me all the reasons why the author recall this too, and the science to back it upward. It's therapy heavy, information technology'due south probably going to make a lot of people mad or guilty, only I loved it. ...more

Aug 27, 2019 Carolin rated information technology really liked it

Admittedly vivid and I don't think you lot need to have children to take something away from this book.

DNF 50%. I don't similar parenting books that focus on what not to exercise and employ extreme examples of "when things become incorrect!" This was conspicuously written past a privileged, middle form mum with just one child. Some working grade families, both parents have to work to pay the bills! Some of her examples made me cry. The example of the 10 year old trying to kill himself by jumping out the window because both his parents were working full time and he felt ignored reallly disturbed me. I don't need that in my DNF 50%. I don't like parenting books that focus on what not to do and apply extreme examples of "when things go wrong!" This was clearly written by a privileged, eye class mum with just ane child. Some working course families, both parents have to work to pay the bills! Some of her examples fabricated me cry. The instance of the 10 year sometime trying to kill himself past jumping out the window considering both his parents were working full time and he felt ignored reallly disturbed me. I don't need that in my head correct now.

The Silent Guides is a much ameliorate parenting volume that's positive and helps y'all understand your children rather than blaming your parents for everything.

...more

Jan 07, 2020 Victoria rated information technology it was ok

Argghh! What an infuriating book. Perry has some really useful insights and practical advice that make a lot of sense (some of which I'll no doubt do...or at to the lowest degree consider). Unfortunately it's presented in such a black and white, patronising, judgemental (although often with the caveat 'I'm non judging just...') manner, I wanted to hurl it across the room. Some of the propositions border on the absurd - Perry'southward own mea culpa (if yous can even call it that) was that her adult daughter has a bad postu Argghh! What an infuriating book. Perry has some really useful insights and practical communication that make a lot of sense (some of which I'll no doubt do...or at least consider). Unfortunately it'south presented in such a black and white, patronising, judgemental (although frequently with the caveat 'I'm not judging but...') fashion, I wanted to hurl information technology across the room. Some of the propositions border on the absurd - Perry's own mea culpa (if you lot tin even call it that) was that her developed daughter has a bad posture because Perry propped her up in a sitting position before she was able to. How do you make that jump with something as common equally poor posture? Similarly, parents who desire their children to say please and cheers are narcissists.... parents who employ reward charts are manipulative and cannot therefore mutter when their children become manipulative adults. There are no sociopaths in this world, just children who have not been understood and responded to appropriately by their parents. Still, don't worry - she's not judging. ...more than

Information technology was thoughtful, but the title was much more interesting than the book.

Sep xix, 2019 H.A. Leuschel rated it really liked it

This was a skillful read with some very useful tips to think about for anyone who either is a parent or questions the mode they have been brought upwardly, written in a compassionate and clear fashion.

3.5 stars

I often try to read books on parenting, more for insight actually, merely if I can take some tips from information technology - great! This relatively short volume is broken into sections, each detailing how to engage with your kid and approach various situations. I plant it to be both interesting and practical, and I really appreciated Perry's approach of trying to understand things from your child's perspective before you act.

I particularly enjoyed the section on socialisation and the qualities children (and

3.5 stars

I often try to read books on parenting, more than for insight really, but if I can accept some tips from it - great! This relatively curt book is cleaved into sections, each detailing how to appoint with your child and approach various situations. I found it to be both interesting and practical, and I really appreciated Perry's approach of trying to sympathize things from your child'south perspective before you deed.

I particularly enjoyed the section on socialisation and the qualities children (and adults!) demand to acquit well, namely:

1. Being able to tolerate frustration;
2. Flexibility;
3. Problem-solving skills;
four. The power to run into and feel things from other people'southward betoken of view.

It is of import to back up your children in learning these qualities, but Perry also suggests that you should employ these qualities when handling situations with your children. I think that's a swell way to arroyo things.

The Volume Yous Wish Your Parents Had Read... suggests ways of addressing things in your own babyhood and putting them bated; creating a harmonious dwelling house environment; helping children to express how they actually feel so their feelings are validated and understood; setting boundaries; accepting mistakes and making efforts to repair situations. Perry encourages you to treasure your relationships with your children and work every day to meliorate the bail your share.

I am really glad I read this book. Thank you to Netgalley and publisher for the opportunity.

...more

Jun 28, 2019 Rachel rated it did not like it

Update: NO STARS. The more than I reflect on this book the more than fed up I actually become, considering even though I skim-read the baby and toddler chapters since they don't apply, the tone was disparaging and critical of whatsoever parenting method that contradicted the woman's stance. The woman causes self-doubt. Avoid.

Jan 27, 2020 Rachel H rated information technology information technology was ok

I saw so many v star reviews for The Volume Y'all Wish Your Parents Had Read that I had to come across what all the hype was most. I had high expectations and I was disappointed.

The book starts well with a department about your parenting legacy. This encourages the reader to unpack one'southward childhood experiences and traumas and see how they can touch on ane's parenting. I institute this fascinating and it would be skillful to come across this topic expanded into a full volume.

The post-obit chapters went downhill. Perry starts

I saw so many v star reviews for The Volume You Wish Your Parents Had Read that I had to see what all the hype was nigh. I had loftier expectations and I was disappointed.

The book starts well with a section almost your parenting legacy. This encourages the reader to unpack one'south childhood experiences and traumas and see how they can affect one's parenting. I found this fascinating and it would be good to see this topic expanded into a full book.

The following chapters went downhill. Perry starts with pregnancy and goes through from childhood to adulthood with her parenting advice. Much of this has already been published past other authors and in that location isn't much new communication here. As I have already read other books and articles nigh parenting (covering topics like being responsive to your baby, validating your child's feelings, etc) I felt like I had read information technology all before. Perry'south writing way is weak and uncaptivating compared to other parenting books.

Withal, what shocked and disappointed me most were her sweeping statements and foreign theories that seemed to identify a lot of unnecessary guilt onto the mother (or parent I approximate). For example, she states "a baby cannot survive without you". This is a standalone sentence. It is clearly incorrect. If I died tomorrow, my baby wouldn't automatically dice too! She also writes about screen time and phone usage. She claims that if a parent uses their phone a lot, it could cause their kid to become an alcoholic or a drug aficionado. Seriously?! Unfortunately, Perry does not cite sources for any of her claims.

I've given ii stars for the beginning department on parenting legacy, which is the merely office worth reading. There are many far ameliorate books nigh parenting available.

...more

This is peradventure the most important and life-irresolute book I've ever read. The get-go half felt like therapy for me to piece of work through how I was parented and for me to realise the generational patterns I have been repeating when raising my little girl that are not innate, adventitious or only the way I am (as I thought) but can be inverse and worked on. It has fabricated me much more mindful of my words and behaviour with my daughter and indeed anybody. Since reading this I'm at present an avid listener of Janet 50 This is perhaps the most important and life-irresolute book I've ever read. The first half felt similar therapy for me to work through how I was parented and for me to realise the generational patterns I have been repeating when raising my little daughter that are non innate, accidental or just the way I am (as I thought) but tin be inverse and worked on. It has made me much more mindful of my words and behaviour with my daughter and indeed everyone. Since reading this I'm now an avid listener of Janet Lansbury's 'Unruffled' podcasts that put the philosophy of this book into activeness with practical tips on how to parent respectfully. Give thanks goodness I plant this book; it has changed my summer and my life. Whether you're a parent or not, this book has the ability to amend all your homo relationships, at any age. I'm so grateful I came across information technology. ...more

Parenting is never easy. In that location is no right way to practise information technology, simply there are plenty of wrong ways and for those that are interested there are a plethora of books out there that claim to provide all the advice that you will e'er need in raising your genetic heritage. This, however, comes with the past-line, this is a parenting book for people who don't purchase parenting books, which is quite a bold claim. Psychotherapist Philippa Perry is well placed to make this claim with ii decades of feel of case Parenting is never easy. There is no right way to practise it, simply there are plenty of wrong means and for those that are interested at that place are a plethora of books out there that claim to provide all the communication that you will e'er demand in raising your genetic heritage. This, however, comes with the by-line, this is a parenting book for people who don't buy parenting books, which is quite a bold claim. Psychotherapist Philippa Perry is well placed to make this claim with ii decades of experience of case studies and her ain experience of being a parent. She concentrates on the bigger picture of being a parent rather than the minutia, concentrating on the relationship and how of import that is to their well existence.

We accept successfully managed to get our firstborn all the way through to adulthood as she was 18 earlier this yr. Non totally sure how we managed that, but we did. We were never perfect and reading this has highlighted some errors, but I wish this was around all those years ago when she was start born. If you are starting to hear yourself proverb the things that your parent did then it is probably high time that you read this. It is full of sensible advice, but I wished it had more than on teenagers, equally it is more often than not toddler focused. Information technology does have sensible suggestions though and she re-iterates all the manner through that these are suggestions and yous sometimes demand to go with your gut instinct.

...more than

There is some good stuff is here but it's largely philosophy you can observe in any gentle parenting/positive discipline book. I loved the image of being a container for your child's emotion—it's evocative and information technology honestly works. Simply the junk outweighs the good stuff. So...the stuff I hated: Perry reiterates "the ruptures don't matter, it's what you do to mend that matters" only her tone is so patronizing and condescending that you know she'south not then secretly judging you. God assistance the woman who happen At that place is some skillful stuff is here but it'due south largely philosophy you can notice in any gentle parenting/positive subject area book. I loved the image of being a container for your kid's emotion—it'southward evocative and information technology honestly works. Just the junk outweighs the proficient stuff. So...the stuff I hated: Perry reiterates "the ruptures don't matter, it's what you do to mend that matters" but her tone is so patronizing and condescending that you know she's not and then secretly judging you. God help the adult female who happens to read this during post partum low (if that's y'all, just throw this volume in the fire). I don't remember my kid will endeavor and jump out a window because I made the error of trying to hard to brand them happy, or grow up existence ashamed on needing some other person because they were sleep trained, or become a drug addicted considering I look at my phone. Honestly the bulk of this stuff is totally cool and I'one thousand fairly certain the "evidence" she talks about sleep training is from that study fo Romanian orphanages where children were neglected for months and abused. And 1 last thing: I had a very happy babyhood but GASP I however manage to observe my children annoying sometimes. ...more

I don't usually read self-help books, but I'd recently had a training session virtually the utilise of psychotherapy in schools, a lot of which spoke to me as a parent, and I was groovy to detect out more. This book is a game-changer. I'one thousand glad that I've read it now, as a parent of a ten and 7-year-old, but I really wish I'd read it earlier. I'll be buying it for pregnant friends in future!

This is not a book providing quick fixes and solutions, merely rather ane which volition increase your agreement of what yo

I don't normally read self-assist books, but I'd recently had a training session almost the employ of psychotherapy in schools, a lot of which spoke to me as a parent, and I was keen to find out more. This book is a game-changer. I'm glad that I've read it at present, equally a parent of a 10 and seven-twelvemonth-old, merely I really wish I'd read information technology earlier. I'll be buying it for pregnant friends in future!

This is non a volume providing quick fixes and solutions, but rather one which will increase your understanding of what your kid thinks and needs. Subsequently finishing reading information technology two weeks ago, I wanted to work with some of the ideas before reviewing it. All I tin say is that our domicile has been much calmer recently and that we've enjoyed more hugs than we have for a while. Perry'south approach makes complete sense to me.

I'd particularly recommend this for new parents, simply it's also a valuable read for those with older children.

Please can Ms Perry side by side write a similar volume for teachers?

...more than

Jun 10, 2019 Kim Plowright rated it it was amazing

I was worried almost reading this volume, because I'm still sorting grieving my parents, whilst coming to terms with existence childless and perimenopausal. Idea it might exist a bit... well, triggery. Just it was honest, straightforward, gently funny and kind, and helped me think near some stuff in my ain upbringing in a useful way. The elementary advice nearly how relating to people actually works in the real globe feels slightly like magic, and the idea that honest attempts at repairing bug is more I was worried virtually reading this book, because I'thou still sorting grieving my parents, whilst coming to terms with being childless and perimenopausal. Thought it might exist a fleck... well, triggery. But information technology was honest, straightforward, gently funny and kind, and helped me think nigh some stuff in my own upbringing in a useful way. The simple advice about how relating to people actually works in the real world feels slightly like magic, and the idea that honest attempts at repairing problems is more of import than perfection is one of those blindingly obvious things that it's yet helpful to be told.

A 24-hour interval afterwards finishing this I was sitting in my local Starbucks, watching an exhausted looking immature mum flick to and fro and re-read the same couple of pages whilst her baby slept happily next to her. They're going to be ok. (I genuinely near cried).

...more

Commencement of all, I'm not a parent, merely I work with kids. If neither of those are true for you, there's non plenty here to go far worth your while--get a volume on zipper theory instead if you want to understand your latent anger at your lousy parents.

I found myself muttering, "OK Boomer" at all the anecdata and groundless assertions. Seriously, there'due south a dramatized argument betwixt a 60-yr-old human and his 22-year-one-time son over a leather jacket that is the most Boomer-vs.-Gen Z thing e'er. And o

First of all, I'grand not a parent, just I work with kids. If neither of those are true for you, there'southward not enough here to brand it worth your while--get a book on zipper theory instead if you lot want to understand your latent acrimony at your lousy parents.

I establish myself muttering, "OK Boomer" at all the anecdata and groundless assertions. Seriously, there'due south a dramatized argument betwixt a 60-year-onetime human being and his 22-yr-old son over a leather jacket that is the most Boomer-vs.-Gen Z affair ever. And of course, the ii recognize and vocalize their feelings and salvage their relationship (though who will go the jacket?! Inquiring minds want to know). Perry truly believes that "all you need is honey" and doesn't have much scholarly research to back her recommendations up. At that place is a bibliography at the cease of the volume with a few peer-reviewed manufactures, more mainstream parenting books, and several sketchy self-published sources. Her advice seems nigh applicable to people like herself--well-to-do urban dwellers who don't have to do shift work and can rent au pairs and babysitters to help. She only alludes to corruption one time in the entire volume. And her solution to financial problems acquired by high housing costs? "I believe that, while we await for the politicians to rectify this unfairness, perchance the previous generation could help out new parents financially as well every bit emotionally." And so.... new parents tin can wait a bank check from you, Philippa?

3 stars because I don't wish my parents had read this book, merely I don't wish they hadn't either.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for a digital ARC for the purpose of an unbiased review.

...more

The antidote to Philip Larkin'south This Be The Verse

October 02, 2019 Jimena rated it did not like information technology

Use your common sense in your parenting journey and salve the money.

Jul 18, 2020 Annie Cole rated information technology really liked it

Prepare to face up the skeletons in your closet. This is a behemothic therapy session, brushing cobwebs from the subconscious-most corners of your childhood. It induced quite a few nightmares in me! But it'due south all part of the process. I now feel cleansed and revived.

Philippa Perry uses the wisdom of many years every bit a psychotherapist, agony aunt, wife and mother to guide us through the bluntly intimidating role of "parent", with a focus on the early years. Her sage theories are interspersed with instance studies from

Prepare to face the skeletons in your cupboard. This is a giant therapy session, brushing cobwebs from the subconscious-most corners of your childhood. Information technology induced quite a few nightmares in me! But it's all part of the process. I now experience cleansed and revived.

Philippa Perry uses the wisdom of many years equally a psychotherapist, agony aunt, wife and mother to guide us through the frankly intimidating role of "parent", with a focus on the early years. Her sage theories are interspersed with case studies from her clients and anecdotes from her own kid-rearing days. None of this is done smugly just rather with an honest, human tone.

I love the positivity that her attitude exudes. A prime example: in another parenting book that I recently read, the author spoke of her disappointment at parents she overheard at the park, condemning their lack of cognition and demonising their interactions with their children. Here, Perry praises random parents that she overhears. She also cites her child'south headteacher as 1 of her major influences. And she is constantly reassuring united states of america that it can, and will, be okay in the end.

I don't know if it's the newfound confidence instilled in me, the results of the psychoanalytical journeying that I've been on or the practical application of the articulate guidance given... but I have seen an instantaneous shift whilst and since reading the volume. I experience like I am more patient, calm and agreement. I wonder how long it will terminal?

My only criticism is that Perry is amazing. I mean, really astonishing. Every bit in goddess-like (is this a criticism?) She is zen during every toddler tantrum, balanced during every sleepless nighttime, is never without fourth dimension to listen to her child. It'southward great for u.s. to have a role model, but it also feels extremely unattainable. I don't know anyone who has fifty-fifty a tenth of her composure.

Simply good on her! I thank her for her teachings. And I really exercise wish my parents had read this book.

...more

How I wished I had read this earlier so I won't make the mistakes I am making now. Information technology would be illogical and pretentious if I say I'yard practicing a perfect parenting fashion, because nobody is perfect and the only best affair to exercise is to better educated.

💭 At that place's so many things I've learned and re-learned in this book, only here's some of my takeaways :
- Be with your child like how yous want your parents to be with yous when y'all are at the same phase.
- Its always wise to settle your personal or issues

How I wished I had read this earlier and then I won't brand the mistakes I am making at present. It would exist illogical and pretentious if I say I'1000 practicing a perfect parenting style, because nobody is perfect and the but best thing to do is to better educated.

💭 There's so many things I've learned and re-learned in this volume, simply hither'south some of my takeaways :
- Exist with your kid like how you want your parents to be with you when you are at the same phase.
- Its always wise to settle your personal or issues between you and your spouse before the consequences affect your children.
- Come into realisation that pregnancy and parenthood are not projects. Childrens are not objects to be perfected.
- Forgive yourself immerdiately if you think you attitude was wrong when yous were pregnant. Heal that stressful pregnancy by acknowledging you did what you could for yourself at the time with the cognition and resource you had.
- Instill sense of security in the early years of our childrens for the sake of their mental wellness, and its never too belatedly to repair any rupture if they are older.
- Parents demand to be able to model how to tolerate frustration, flexibility, problem-solving skills and to see and feel things from other people'southward POV.

💭 This book has 6 topics that offers and then many parenting tips and insights that can shed different lights into our lives if they are implemented. Its worth to exist read and reread. I would recommend this book to all existing and expecting parents, and too anyone who accept dreams to start a family of their own or to develop deep understanding about parenting that also includes emotionally and mentally care in it.

💭 Refreshing and non-judgmental, reading this book won't let anyone'south bad parenting they have received in their babyhood time to influence the way they parent their childrens. Intermission that negative cycles considering your children's hereafter is of import.

...more

Mar 10, 2021 emily rated it it was astonishing

HOLYFUCK. Everyone should read this at least one time. I almost didn't pick this upwards, but I did because I enjoyed Perry'due south final volume. I didn't think I needed this until I gave it a good read. The audiobook is fantastic besides. I'm quite certain that anyone who does not like this book is someone who is either in denial or someone who'southward toxic as fuck (and wants to continue their toxic means of parenting, or being a toxic human beingness in general). Like I mean - no shit, parenting is tough piece of work - probably the HOLYFUCK. Everyone should read this at least once. I almost didn't pick this up, but I did because I enjoyed Perry's last volume. I didn't recall I needed this until I gave it a good read. The audiobook is fantastic besides. I'm quite certain that anyone who does not like this book is someone who is either in deprival or someone who's toxic as fuck (and wants to go on their toxic ways of parenting, or beingness a toxic homo in full general). Similar I mean - no shit, parenting is tough piece of work - probably the toughest work out there, that's why everyone who's into it/considering information technology should be serious about it. Not only some oops, pop and go, and carelessly fucking up lives. Domestic violence/child abuse is later all the well-nigh convenient and virtually complicated form of abuse.

I would give a more thorough review, but I program to read this a couple more times (or at least 'heed' to it). So I might give a better and more thorough review later, but regardless, I think everyone and anyone will benefit from reading this book. Thank you Philippa Perry for writing this book.

...more

Parenting books are tricky - there are stuff that will be useful and very relatable, but near of them are usually not applicable at all.

I experience the aforementioned when reading this book. The main idea is proficient, nearly how our childhood can bear upon our parenting mode, and how to cut the fell bicycle of repeating the "bad parenting" to our children.

But - some of the cases and solutions are only very privileged minded IMO. I agree that communication and transparency is of import, but to exaggerate the "feeling

Parenting books are tricky - there are stuff that will be useful and very relatable, but most of them are usually non applicable at all.

I feel the same when reading this volume. The main idea is good, near how our childhood tin can affect our parenting style, and how to cut the vicious wheel of repeating the "bad parenting" to our children.

But - some of the cases and solutions are just very privileged minded IMO. I concur that communication and transparency is important, but to exaggerate the "feeling validations" from a baby is just as well much. Likewise, this books deals more than about the babe/toddler years, and not really discussed much about the tween/teen years.

Oh, and although the writer said that she is not judgmental at all, she'southward pretty judgy most of the time XD

...more than

A vivid read to sympathize your own self - highlights quite a few traits, whether it'south trusting, sharing your emotions, how yous deal with stress, full general day to twenty-four hour period behaviour .. and how it's linked to your childhood upbringing.

Information technology'southward very well written and has quite a few examples on how to deal with certain situations, for example when your child is throwing a tantrum, or how you tin can build trust, or how a parent should tackle hard conversations/topics. This volume challenged quite a few of my

A brilliant read to understand your own self - highlights quite a few traits, whether it's trusting, sharing your emotions, how you deal with stress, general day to day behaviour .. and how it'due south linked to your childhood upbringing.

It'due south very well written and has quite a few examples on how to deal with certain situations, for example when your kid is throwing a tantrum, or how you tin build trust, or how a parent should tackle hard conversations/topics. This book challenged quite a few of my behavior (of raising kids) and I am glad that those opinions were rectified! This may non apply to you correct at present, still I still highly recommend information technology!

...more than

While there is some skilful advice here (hence 2stars)- peculiarly effectually validating your children'south feelings and conversations with teenagers, the book is patronising. Perry makes huge claims, with no data to back them up. Another book that piles on the Mum guilt (when your baby is not getting your attention they are "abandoned in a desert"). Perry approaches parenting from a very privileged perspective- suggesting hotel stays, grandparents covering a yr'south rent to "assist out" and non putting ki While there is some good advice hither (hence 2stars)- particularly around validating your children'south feelings and conversations with teenagers, the book is patronising. Perry makes huge claims, with no data to back them up. Another book that piles on the Mum guilt (when your baby is not getting your attending they are "abandoned in a desert"). Perry approaches parenting from a very privileged perspective- suggesting hotel stays, grandparents covering a year'south hire to "help out" and not putting kids into childcare until they are ready.
...more

Philippa Perry, author of How to Stay Sane, is a psychotherapist and writer who has written pieces for The Guardian, The Observer, Fourth dimension Out, and Healthy Living magazine and has a column in Psychologies Magazine. In 2010, she wrote the graphic novel Couch Fiction, in an attempt to demystify psychotherapy. She lives in London and Sussex with her husband, the creative person Grayson Perry, and enjoys gardenin Philippa Perry, author of How to Stay Sane, is a psychotherapist and writer who has written pieces for The Guardian, The Observer, Time Out, and Salubrious Living magazine and has a column in Psychologies Magazine. In 2010, she wrote the graphic novel Burrow Fiction, in an attempt to demystify psychotherapy. She lives in London and Sussex with her husband, the creative person Grayson Perry, and enjoys gardening, cooking, parties, walking, tweeting, and watching television.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/philip...

...more

Articles featuring this book

Need another excuse to become to the bookstore this calendar week? Nosotros've got y'all covered with the buzziest new releases of the 24-hour interval. To create our list, we...

"It is more than useful to make a significant like that nigh childcare than it is to look effectually the mess in your home and feel y'all accept nix to prove, no results, for your solar day's piece of work. The results will come, but non at the finish of every single mean solar day, like they might in other types of piece of work. When we adopt the addiction of impact on apply, parenting does get rewarding." — 0 likes

"Existence kind does not mean you lot don't share your feelings when y'all are angry. What it does mean is explaining how yous feel and why but without blaming or insulting the other person." — 0 likes

More quotes…

Welcome back. Simply a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account.

lorenzsamelle.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42348818-the-book-you-wish-your-parents-had-read

Share this post